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The Pursuit Of Happiness

…Maybe that’s the problem.

Pursuing happiness is like chasing a rainbow. The faster we go, the harder we try, the farther off it becomes.

I have learned that happiness is not a pursuit— it’s a choice. Happiness is a state of mind, obtainable at any time, in any moment of your choosing.

Licking a cone of creamy vanilla Häagen-Dazs makes me happy. But if someone knocks the cone out of my hand, I’m no longer happy. Happiness can be fleeting and unstable, like that ice cream cone. It’s really just a temporary sensation of pleasure, like entertainment, shopping, eating or sex.

Our beliefs about what will make us happy are heavily influenced by other people, Hollywood or commercial media. We race along this “hedonic treadmill” perpetually feeling like something is missing, like happiness is one toy, one trinket or one promotion away, but always just beyond our reach.

And still no rainbow. Disappointing career choices, heartbreaking relationships and midlife crises indicate that our assumptions about happiness and the pursuit of it often miss the mark.

It’s not the pursuit of happiness we should concern ourselves with, but rather the pursuit of fulfillment, purpose and significance.

If I have created a life of meaning in which I have a deep sense of purpose and value, that won’t change because someone knocks my ice cream cone over. Fulfillment is a state of existence, not a fleeting emotion.

What then creates a fulfilling life?

That’s the all-important question you have to answer for yourself. In fact, it’s the subject of the classic tome Man’s Search for Meaning (which I recommend!) by psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor Viktor Frankl. Typically a life of meaning requires deep relationships, a connection to a community, a sense of well-being, contribution to others and continual challenge, growth, learning and progress. Now those are some virtues worth pursuing. And once you start out on this pursuit, you will realize that crossing the finish line is not what’s most rewarding; the journey itself and the anticipation of achieving your goal is what’s so exhilarating and wonderful.

So what about being happy?

There are two ways you can choose to be happy at any moment.
One: Think about all you have to be grateful for. Some of the happiest people I have ever met are those who have comparatively few accoutrements to be happy about. When you feel gratitude, you cannot feel fear or worry at the same time. Gratitude washes it all away. If you are reading this, you’re breathing and above ground, so you have many blessings to be grateful for—just remind yourself at any moment you want to feel happy.

The second way to choose happiness—the best way, in my opinion—is to do something to make someone else happy. The person who bestows happiness always gets much more of it in return.

Article by Darren Hardy

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Benjamin Franklin’s 14 Tips To Getting Things Done

Benjamin Franklin was a man of action. Over his lifetime, his curiosity and passion fueled a diverse range of interests. He was a writer (often using a pseudonym), publisher, diplomat, inventor and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States.

His inventions included the lightning rod, bifocals and the Franklin stove. Franklin was responsible for establishing the first public library, organizing fire fighters in Philadelphia, was one of the early supporters of mutual insurance and crossed the Atlantic eight times. Self-development was a constant endeavor throughout his incredible life.

Benjamin Franklin was clearly a man who knew how to get things done.

Here are 14 action-inducing lessons from him:

    • Less Talk, More Action

      “Well done is better than well said.”
      Talk is cheap. Talking about a project won’t get it completed. We all know people who constantly talk about the things they are going to do but rarely ever take that first step. Eventually people begin to question their credibility. Taking action and seeing the task through to completion is the only way to get the job done.

    • Don’t Procrastinate

      “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”
      This is probably one of the first quotes I remember hearing as a teenager. With an impressive list of achievements to his credit, Benjamin Franklin was not a man hung up on procrastination. He was a man with clear measurable goals who worked hard to turn his vision into reality. What are you putting off till tomorrow that could make a difference in your life today?

    • Be Prepared

      “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
      You need a plan to accomplish your goals. Charging in without giving any thought to the end result and how to achieve it, is a sure way to fall flat on your face. Think like a boy scout. Have a realistic plan of attack and a systematic approach for getting where you need to be.

    • Don’t Fight Change

      “When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.”
      Whilst many of us don’t like change, others thrive on it. Either way change is inevitable. The stronger we fight against it, the more time and energy it consumes. Give up the fight. Focus on proactively making positive changes, instead of having change merely thrust upon you. Wherever possible, try to view change as a positive instead of a negative.

    • Get Moving

      “All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.”
      There’s a reason we use the expression, movers and shakers. Movers are the ones who take action, the people who get things done, while the immovable are sitting around scratching their heads wondering how others could possibly be so successful. Which group do you want to belong to?

    • Avoid Busywork

      “Never confuse motion with action.”
      We are always running around doing things. We rush from one meeting or event to the next, sometimes without achieving a great deal. At the end of the day, how much of our busywork are we proud of? How much of that running around improves anyone’s life (including ours) for the better? Make your motion mean something.

    • Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes

      “Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.”
      If we fear making mistakes, we become scared to try new things. Fear leaves us nestled in our comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone rarely leads to greatness. Taking risks and giving yourself permission to make mistakes, will ultimately lead you to whatever your version of success may be.

    • Act Quickly on Opportunities

      “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.”
      Opportunities are everywhere. The trick is being quick enough and smart enough to seize them when they arise. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that something won’t work or can’t be done, allow yourself the freedom to ask what if?

    • Continue to Grow

      “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”
      We all have vices of some description. The key is to keep them under control or preferably eradicate them entirely. Be kind to those around you, whether they are neighbors, family, co-workers or friends. Never accept that you have finished growing as a person.

    • Keep Going

      “Diligence is the mother of good luck.”
      Have you ever looked at a successful entrepreneur or business person and thought how lucky they are? Most of the time, luck has nothing to do with it. Hard work and sacrifice on the other hand have everything to do with it. Successful people deal with failure. They tackle their demons head on. They pick themselves up and keep going.

    • Know Yourself

      “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”
      Understanding ourselves is not easy. Sometimes we just don’t want to see ourselves for who we really are. It’s much easier to hold onto a romanticized version of ourselves or to simply view ourselves through other people’s eyes. Start by being brutally honest with yourself. Follow through with understanding, compassion and acceptance.

    • Don’t Self-Sabotage

      “Who had deceived thee so often as thyself?”
      We spend so much time worrying about other people hurting us, yet fail to comprehend the damage we inflict on ourselves. If you are using negative self-talk, lying to yourself or indulging in addictive behavior you are self-sabotaging. Life can dish up enough challenges without us adding to the mix. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you would a best friend.

    • Don’t Give Up

      “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
      Achieving our goals can be downright exhausting. There will be days when you want to give up. There will be times when your energy levels flatline and you wonder why you bother getting out of bed. Yet you push forward, day after day because you believe in yourself and you have the determination and strength to back up that belief.

    • Wise Up

      “Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”
      Benjamin was definitely onto something with this one. Who hasn’t had the thought – I wish I could know then, what I know now? Unfortunately there is no time machine; there is no going back. The key is to wise up as early as you can to start forging a life of purpose, achievement and happiness.

Article by Thea Easterby

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15 Success Blockers To A Great Life

 

Your Best Life

So, what’s standing between you and your best life? Do any of these ring a bell?

1. Inconsistency. It’s hard to succeed if you never finish anything.
2. Lack of clarity. What is success for you? If you can’t define it, you probably won’t create it.
3. Procrastination. Are always ‘about’ to change your life?
4. Who you hang out with. Are you surrounded by people who drag you up or down?
5. Self-limiting beliefs. What do you need to unlearn?
6. Relying on (the emotional state of) motivation. Motivation comes and goes. Success requires you to maintain certain behaviours and commitment even in the absence of motivation.
7. Over-thinking. Analysis paralysis; the modern scourge. 
8. Your expectations of others. Expect more from yourself and less from others.
9. Being addicted to comfort. Enjoying comfort: fine. Being addicted to comfort: not fine. Like it or not, pain can be a great teacher.
10. Not acknowledging what ‘is’ (lying to yourself). You can’t address what you won’t acknowledge. Just ask an alcoholic.
11. The need for approval and validation. It’s exhausting and unnecessary. You’re big now.
12. Dormant knowledge and understanding. Having knowledge is not the same as using knowledge. Success lives in the application of the information.
13. Lack of accountability. What’s your accountability system?
14. Asking the wrong questions. Some questions propel us towards action, transformation and solutions. Some reflect our need for attention and sympathy. Better questions produce better results.  
15. Attitude. Like many things, a good or bad attitude is optional. You can be the problem person or the solution person.

So how many did you score. Leave a comment below.

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25 Things To Do To Get Out Of A Rut In 2012

By Randy Gage

Hope you’re having as much fun with this  creativity series as I am writing it.  And thanks so much for playing all out.  It’s been great to see so many fascinating and interesting comments each day.

We talked about  the neural pathways in your brain.  Here’s the fascinating thing about that:  You have tens of thousands of thoughts a day.  Unfortunately if you’re like most people, it is the same thoughts, day after day.  Scientists have discovered that many of these frequent thoughts you have over and over actually create ruts in the neural pathways of your brain.

The more creative you are, and the more diverse the stimuli you expose yourself to, the less ruts you will have.  And when you do specific things to foster the communication between the two hemispheres of your brain, this cultivates whole brain synchronicity that geniuses like Mozart, Edison and Einstein demonstrated so well.

Here’s a list of some fun, fascinating, and interesting ways to develop your creativity.  There is no particular order here, but a plethora of great ideas that help promote whole brain functioning and stimulate your creative powers.

  • Start wearing your watch on the other wrist.
  • Move your ring, keys, wallet, pager, and pen to a new place every day for a week.
  • Brainstorm 25 alternate uses for a toothpick.
  • Take a different route home every day for a week.
  • Count to 100 by 2s and 3s at the same time: 2/3, 4/6, 6/9, etc.
  • Count backward from 100 by 4’s.
  • Check the dictionary and learn five new words every day for a week.  (Or a lifetime.)
  • Do all the scrabble, jumble, Sudoku and puzzlers in the day’s paper.
  • Take a common object like a pencil, watch, or spoon and examine it in detail using all your senses.   Think how a five year old would view it.  And remember, there is no spoon.
  • Identify all the geometric shapes that you can see from where you are right now.
  • Sit in a new place for meals, meetings, church, or temple.
  • Strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know or would normally avoid.
  • Sleep on the other side of the bed.  Note what happens when you wake up.
  • Use your non-dominant hand to eat, brush your teeth, dial phone calls, etc.
  • Listen to and try to appreciate a different style of music then you normally do.  If you like country, try opera.  If you love classical, try hip hop.
  • Take regular “disengagement breaks” when you’re working on a project.
  • Journal and mind map using colored pen or pencils.
  • Buy a tie or scarf in a color you would never normally wear.
  • Decide what your drag name or porno name would be.  (No, I won’t be telling you mine.)
  • Write a limerick.
  • Go out to a restaurant and order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a chocolate milk.
  • Invent some unimaginable or impossible thing today!

Do these things and you’ll be creating many new neural pathways in your brain and spark up your creative juices.  Which is just in time for my annual “Night Before Christmas” poetry competition, which comes up on next post!  Watch this space…

Please share how doing any of these made you feel, and any other ideas that work for you.

P.S. to my Jewish readers, hope you are enjoying a joyous and wonderful Chanukah!

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5 Things You Must Know

 

Reality Check

In an attempt to help you navigate your way through the ever-expanding glut of self-help fluff and feel-good (but ultimately worthless) motivational jargon, here’s a quick reality check:

1. The ‘universe’ doesn’t give a shit about you.
2. Life is not fair or unfair. Life is life.
3. Things don’t work themselves out. You do.
4. Anything isn’t possible. It sounds nice though.
5. Knowing what to do is not enough.

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